I hear you fellows, asking and debating the question: What do women want? You crave to understand what women want? Why, don’t you know? THEY WANT ME. As you can’t be me, obviously, you must try to look like me. I can give no better advice. Since my many qualities are so obvious (yet my defects also are lovable to them), it’s only a question of having eyes to see. Use your eyes, do as best as you can: if you look enough like me, then the woman, whatever woman, will say to herself: “Perhaps I can’t have the original (she can never completely relinquish the hope, though: it’s above her strength, you see), perhaps I won’t have the original, but the copy there is not bad after all,” and she will let you know. You think people around have the same tendencies as you but each singling out different objects for their tendencies, yet such an idea is wrong, it is an illusion, unscientific, and when you discover the truth at last it is too late, you have missed the chance, every woman knows by now that you are far, far from being like me. Don’t waste no time. You want to see the hidden recesses of the women’s mind? Just take a look at me! There is nothing dearer to my heart than your happiness in the life, my brothers. Try and I guarantee you the result. The advice is good, it is free, I speak the truth, out of sheer benevolence and good heart. Be like me, be another me, and it’s going to be all right!
A Message To Our Extraterrestrial Neighbors
So far the message sent into space with Pioneer 10 in 1972 has remained unanswered. Let me suggest the sending of a more accurate message, based on the latest developments of the universal smileys language, as follows:
which meaning is, obviously:
We Happy Human Species Yet Longing For Eternity
Life Expectancy Eighty Or So — Far From Eternal Life
Welcome And Let Us Search For The Way Together Take Care